Don’t Propose on the First Date

Tweet

Picture this…

A guy takes a girl out on a first date.  She’s dressed up, and he’s aiming to impress. They make polite conversation over a glass of wine while waiting for their food to arrive, and each feels a spark of hope for what may come. He gets up, as if to go to the bathroom, but instead bends down on one knee, revealing a ring inside a box and asking her to marry him.

Romantic, right?

She says no. She says it’s too soon, that she barely knows him, and she runs off – scared at how quickly he moved from an innocent conversation about where he was from, to asking her to spend the rest of her days by his side.

What Happened?

He moved too fast.  Yes, it’s romantic, and yes, the thought of skipping the arduous dating process and getting straight to “the point” is tempting, but she wasn’t ready.  She wanted to discover his quirks, she wanted to discover the dynamics of their relationship without the pressure of a looming wedding, and she wanted to savor the moments they had to come.  She wanted to take her time to decide, and he rushed her.

Um, So, Music, Hello?

How does this relate to music marketing, you ask? Simple.

Musicians ask for the sale before their fans have a chance to make up their mind.

Musicians rush the relationship, doing the music marketing equivalent of proposing on the first date.

So someone follows you on Twitter, great. Reach out and say “hello” or ask them how they found out about you. Start developing your relationship with them from there. Get to know them a bit, and let them get to know you. Jumping in to ask them to buy your latest single/t-shirt/concert ticket before you’ve ever shown that you care about them just defeats the purpose. They end up feeling like just another wallet and you end up seeming like just another self-centered, out to make a quick buck, musician.

So you have a Fan Page on Facebook. Great. Use it to show your fans what you’ve been up to. Don’t just post things and walk away – participate in the conversations taking place on a regular basis.

There’s a time and a place to ask for the sale. That time and place is not every day, nor is it during your first conversation with someone who has been kind enough to show interest in your work.

Give your fans and followers time. Respect the fact that building a relationships with a fan is the same in many ways as starting to date someone new.  There are surprises, there are common interests, there are laughs, and there is a bond that grows over time.

Making money from music isn’t about getting a bunch of people to buy your first album, then finding an entirely different group of people to attend your shows, then seeking an entirely new audience to buy your swag. Relationships aren’t about a bunch of first dates!

So, musicians. Don’t treat your fans like wallets with mouths and faces. Don’t propose to them on the first date.

Tagged as: best practices, Facebook, fans, relationship, social media, social networking, strategy, Twitter